The Seduction of Red Power
image: Alexandra Mirghe for Unsplash
In Brazil we have a saying: “I’d give a cow to not get into a fight, but I’d give my whole cattle farm to not leave that fight.”
It refers, of course, to the delightful red rush of righteous anger that puts a spell over anyone engaged in an argument, disagreement, or even just in reaction to something they hear or read. It tints everything red.
We say a lot of things to ourselves to justify that rush of red:
“They’re out to get me!
It’s not fair, how dare you?!
I can’t let you do this to me!
I need to teach them!”
As soon as we think this, we’ve transformed our wise, calm, and better selves into something almost recognizable. Worse still, it’s very powerful: we become pigs in pigsties, and we just love that dirt!
This spell that anger casts over us is very strong because it makes us feel amazingly powerful. We become the Incredible Hulk and our righteous mighty wrath will teach them all a lesson! The volcano inside is exploding: our skin is boiling, our hands are shaking, our hearts are throbbing, our heads are hot, our eyes are dark. We feel we can kill people with our gaze. We have superpowers and our super memory can remember every moment when people did us wrong, even from 10 or 20 years ago.
I want to have the anger power, but I’m tired of anger hangover. Revenge is the poison I drink, hoping my enemy will drop dead. While I’m drinking the poison, I feel powerful and I don’t see that I’m a victim of my own spell, a prisoner of the lonely fate I’m creating. I don’t see that my anger comes from being powerless, desperate, and hurt. I’m a victim of what life or people do to me. I’m in prison willingly—but not happily. I think that my anger protects me from getting hurt. In fact, it does the opposite.
I want to have the ire power without the ire imprisonment. I want the power of Athena, the goddess of wisdom and war. The power of not letting people manipulate me with their limitations and their own ire spells. The power of seeing things in life as challenges and not hindrances. The power of being who I am and not being limited by what others dictate. I don't want to be stuck being a victim.
Sartre was right when he said that “freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.” There is a lot of power in stepping back from a situation that makes you red-angry and getting into the angry empowerment of wisdom. Anger gives you power to break free from slavery of unconscious acts and reactions. It’s a sign to look inside and answer the important questions: “What is imprisoning me now?” and, “How do I break free?”
Use your anger. Don’t allow it to use you.