How to handle conflict with your partner

image: Lia Bekyan for Unsplash

No matter how close you feel to your partner, no matter how well you get along with each other, conflicts will inevitably arise. It’s part of human nature—no two people are the same, and nor should they be.

But some conflicts can be handled, while others have the potential to tear your relationship apart. How can you sort through them?

When handled properly, fighting can improve your relationship. If you never argue and never talk about your problems, you will never solve them. By dealing with conflicts constructively, you can gain a better understanding of your partner and arrive at a solution that works—for both of you.

 Here are a few tips for improving your conflict—and, with it, your relationship!

•  Talk about your feelings without blaming your partner. If you “assault” the other person, they’re sure to at the very least become defensive, and at worst attack you back.

• Stay on point. Many of us start an argument about one thing, only to throw everything but the kitchen sink into the arena. This solves nothing and leaves both partners unsatisfied.

• Listen to your partner. Even if you’ve heard them say the same thing 249 times before—they’re repeating it because it’s important to them. Honor that.

• Don’t get overwhelmed. Your relationship doesn’t hang on every argument. Solve what you can here and now, and don’t make judgments about each other when you’re angry.

I know, easy to say, harder to do! But the truth is, if you keep these tips in mind during your next argument, you’ll be sure to handle your future conflicts in a healthier and more constructive way.